Your Emotional Pain

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Your life is never pain-free or sorrow-free—that's life, whether you like it or not.

Your emotional pain is intensified by your thinking mind, which seeks to deny and to avoid it. To alleviate your pain, focus your mind on the present moment. Accept and cope with it, instead of fighting against it.

Your suffering, pain, and misery are necessary for the co-existence of your contentment, pleasure, and happiness, just as sickness and health are at the far ends of that same phenomenological spectrum. According to TAO wisdom (the ancient wisdom from China), these extremes in human experience are not only temporary but also unnatural; they are just the cycles of nature in which the pendulum swings back and forth from one end to the other. So, it's your folly to attempt to avoid or to resist experiencing these swings; by doing so, you just throw yourself out of balance with nature, and thus not only intensifies but also unduly prolongs your suffering. According to the TAO, acceptance holds the key:

“Accept misfortune as the human condition. . .
What do you mean by
‘Accept misfortune as the human condition’?
Misfortune comes from having a body.
Without a body, how could there be misfortune?”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 13)

The TAO solution to human pain and suffering is non-judgment through focusing on the present moment.

Your emotional pain often leaves behind a residue of pain that continues to live on in you. Combined with the accumulated pain in the past, the new emotional pain may begin to merge with that in the past, giving it a newer dimension with greater intensity.

To illustrate, you may sometimes find yourself burst into uncontrollable anger when triggered by an unpleasant incident and even begin lashing at the aggressor with outbursts of past grudges and grievances that have nothing to do with the present incident. Your emotional pain can only feed on past pain, and thus creating more pain—a vicious circle of misery and suffering.

Staying in the present moment may enable you to confront your subconscious identification with the past thoughts deeply embedded in your subconscious mind. Maybe you are not the person you think you are, and you are simply afraid to face the pain that lives in you. As long as the fear is not overcome, you will continue to think you are the person you think you are, and you will continue to experience the past pain for the rest of your life.

Remember, emotional pain is caused by emotional thoughts, which generate negative energy that causes body-and-mind pain.

For example, through your subconscious mind, your angry thoughts on what someone did to you become “you” because you identify them with you. The emotional pain then becomes “you” because where there is anger there is also pain.

The wisdom of the TAO is to use the present moment to dis-identify yourself from your mind; by shattering your deceptive mind identification, you begin to see the light and the ultimate truth. It is like the Biblical wisdom expressed by Apostle Paul when he said: “Everything is being shown up by being exposed to the light, and whatever is exposed to the light itself becomes light.” (Ephesians 5:13)

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

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